This painting was created after a therapy session and it is the first of its kind because my therapist realized (for me) that I was creating from my thoughts or imagination and by-passing my feelings all together. She said, “Reine in order to unlock your pain you need to paint from your feelings!”.  Shocking! As much art training as I had, had it was a completely foreign idea.

The original photograph was my first attempt at creating a piece of art about my mothers death. The Lillie on one shoulder was from one of her funeral baskets. The smashed light bulb and the charcoal eyes was as close as I could get to my feelings… The image is so high-key because instead of being in a dark tunnel I felt everything was over-bright and isolating.

The actual feeling was a slow-mo sucker punch to the face not seeing her death coming and the compounded shock (silence) of not saying all that needed to be said, in time. This led to the ripping out of my roots because I wanted to be detached from everything. My family, myself, the earth and nourishment. There was no reason to stand tall or to be seen.

There were many versions that came after the original photograph. Digital manipulations and paint… however, this final version did not emerge until after the session.

The original photograph was shot on black and white film, hand processed in a darkroom and then hand printed, burning and dodging the exposure before Photoshop was even an option. Originally printed 11X14 on archival cotton paper. Additional versions included scanning this print on a flatbed to create this version. (way more magical in person).