Black and White is fading
My Black and White mind is fading… the contrast of only two options is blurring, morphing, disintegrating… going, going, gone. I use to be a ” this IS the way it is” or “it is NOT going to happen this way” kind of girl. A bit ridged, closed off to options mostly because I could not comprehend another way and my (almost bang on) instincts made it easy to enforce my will.
Without knowing HOW it is occurring something within me is changing to encompass a softer, wiser and balanced outlook. ‘Go with the flow‘ was a set of ‘key words‘ that I used for years and I would say to myself… I ‘have to‘ go with the flow! I WAS DETERMINED to go with the flow…which obviously was me getting in my own way again.
The other day one of my teachers suggested I ‘chose‘ to embody an energy that I have not experienced. She felt the exercise would help balance me further. As I was pondering what she suggested she added, “Yes, embody UN-talented and in a very public way!” I did as she suggested and began ‘feeling‘ the energy of ‘UN-talented‘ which took me out of my body and into a swirling vortex of other people judging themselves. I could feel the difference between the two and the gap is just a mind thing, a perception, and…what is talent anyway? I was in the bathroom (best place for ideas) and applying lip gloss as I wondered… is the honey badger talented because he is tough and eats what ever he wants…or is he talented because he doesn’t give a shit? Hmmm honey badger doesn’t give a shit. Therefore, In order to be powerfully untalented I’m going to have to activate the part of my brain that doesn’t give a shit and do something radical like eat a cobra.
I understand this doesn’t make much sense. I have journals filled with thoughts such as this that I leave for myself to re-read so I can track where I have been, my growth and in the end capture an epic tale of my life. There is a song I listen to frequently and one of the lyrics is, ‘this time its forever’ and I see the truth in that daily. The reason why this website is called the Creative Legacy of Reine Mihtla is because this is where I’m choosing to record my art, thoughts and awareness… for you to read if you wish… but more for me. The digital age guarantees that anything I write today with be searchable from eternity and beyond. If higher and faster dimensions are what we have to look forward to then these words will be there too. And if I choose to come back to Earth with an erased memory again to wake up one more time and search for me I will find this… past me writing to my future me… in the present reminding myself of everything I have learned and integrated to make my future evolution less of a struggle and more about the compounding achievements shared by our common soul.
In my private meditations I was recently left with a new piece of information. I was reminded that my eyes (physical sight) are not accurate in the arena of the seeing invisible vibration. Its common to hear that not much has changed in the world ( I’m not sure it is true but it is common). Because we don’t see vibration it is difficult to know whather of not the vibration has changed… and my inner guidance is pointing to ‘it has changed a lot.’ Because I rely on what my eyes see and the Physical world looks the same I sometimes forget to integrate new ideas/ energies and possibilities available to me now. I was shown a formula of A+B=C and I was guided to understand that this is an old way of thinking… linear… the essence was there are steps and effort in order to accomplish the end result ‘C’. I was shown this formula and underneath it was a piece of string… which I pretty much ignored until the string became a circle and the formula wrapped around it indicating that the formula is no longer liner but circular. One final change was made. The + B = was cxled and an arrow was drown in between A and C. Indicating my position of A to my desired result C is now only one step. Or the way I see it… instantaneous when I choose it to be so.
Which takes me back to the beginning. All there is choice and it is instantaneous. Where I use to label myself as talented I have omitted that too because it is a limiting belief… it is a made up word to separate people into piles of good and bad (black and white) and the truth is I’m neither and more.